smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
