Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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