I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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