Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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