Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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