this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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