Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I did not marry a roomba.
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