his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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