yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You brought string cheese to the strip club
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
