I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
