nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
