I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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