Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
