we have officially lost it.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
