She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
