i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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