Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
