well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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