She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
