I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize