there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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