'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
