I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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