Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
