Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
