this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
