Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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