Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I need water and some morals
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
