Why are handjobs necessary in class?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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