I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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