He asked to "fluff my boner.."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
