I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
