NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize