Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
