Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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