they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
