I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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