i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
