One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
