reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
