Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
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