sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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