shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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