He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
