Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
As shirtless as possible
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
