the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
