is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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