Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
