I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Randomize
