I think im going to throw up on grandma
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
