I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You ate ashes out of my bong
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize