We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
