New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
