I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
