So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
The adults are the big ones right?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
