these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i think i have herpe
just one?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
