Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
