people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
