Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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