Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
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