Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
