Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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