you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
