so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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