hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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