he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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