it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize