Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
